Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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