Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
