dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Damn victory sex feels great
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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