Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
