I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
