Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
