Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
