I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You left your phone here
Wait...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
