I'm lost and stupid without you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
