We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
