so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
