omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
