Bisexual people are plain selfish.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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