He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
