i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
