Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
