Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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