he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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