i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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