At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
