Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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