dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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