Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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