90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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