The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
