he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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