omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
