She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
