We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
