Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
