We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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