Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
