Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My vagina is very pro this idea
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