she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
