i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
