the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
