She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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