We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
