I need help removing her.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
