the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
