You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
