come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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