It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
