the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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