He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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