So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
