It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
