I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
