two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
