How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
