ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
